Catching Feelings for Yourself

Self-love: noun – regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic). For me this is a trait that can be easily faked, but proven difficult to actualize over the years. I have a fun style blog, recently lost 35+ pounds, and have a great job! But I still have my off days where I feel extraordinarily self-conscious.

I think as women of the Millennial variety, we find it hard to appreciate ourselves as we are. How many times have we all told ourselves that we aren’t good enough? A successful career, sharp whit, and great relationships, mean nothing when your mentality doesn’t match up. For a long time, I didn’t think very highly of myself: personality and looks included. Validation for others doesn’t help. You could be Margot freaking Robbie and if you don’t believe you’re beautiful – people telling you that won’t change your mind.

And then there’s the opposite; insecure people tearing you down to try and make themselves feel better. Mean girls will never change. Jerks who don’t deserve you won’t change either. Those are their own personal projections. Don’t let their shit affect you!

After I reached my fitness goals and found my place in Chicago, I found myself confused. I was still having the same negative thoughts I was having before. “My arms looks fat in this shirt” / “Wow my hair is frizzy today” / “That presentation sucked” / “You sound dumb in this email.” Or the worst of all, “This is why they don’t like you.” No, Emma why don’t you like you?

It took me awhile to realize the only voice that mattered was my own. My aggressive negativity towards myself was molding my life and influencing my experiences. No more! Accepting myself for exactly who I am and where I’m at is an ongoing journey. I’ve flipped the script on my self-sabotage and turned it into love. Sure, sometimes I make made decisions and my hair is ACTUALLY frizzy, but my biggest advice to you is to not let that affect your soul.

I promise you, no one thinks more about your successes and failures than you. If you are your own toughest critic, then why not be kind to yourself? I challenge you to treat yourself like you treat your best friend, spouse, or closest loved one. It’ll change your life.

AND if no one has told you lately – you’re an incredible human destined for so much more than normal and deserve better than negative self-talk. Good things will come!